Stepping into my role as teacher / healer

Thus far this blog has been focussed on my son’s sensitivities and our struggles and joys in that process.  I’ve often written when I’m in distress, as it’s a place that I turn to when I need to process / vent / share.

I haven’t shared much about me as a person or my own journey. But as Alexis points out here, to be a great mom, first you have to be a great you. Have I been doing that?

My biggest passions involve yoga and exploring the healing arts. I have been getting the message that it’s time for me to step into my role as teacher / healer. I’m currently teaching one yoga class a week and I’ve started to deepen the teachings in my class. I was scared to do so, but have been getting the message “go deeper still, go deeper still”. And, so deeper still I am going and so far, it’s been rewarding.

During my last session with an intuitive, she shared that I am at the brink of a big awakening / growth, that it’s time for me to step into my role as teacher / healer. And, it’s true, I feel as though my heart yearns to do this. And, so I am taking little steps.

I’m starting a women’s healing circle and we meet in a couple of weeks. I started one in the last city we lived in, and now that we’re in Newfoundland, it feels as though it’s time for me to start one here.

I feel drawn to getting my Master Reiki attunement, and have let my Reiki teacher that I’m ready.  It’s another process of “going deeper still”. I have visions of teaching Reiki I classes in the new year.

Anyway, these are baby steps that I am taking. I feel as though I am ready. I’m nervous and scared, but for a long time I’ve been getting the message:  “You are ready.  You are safe. It is time.”

And the more time that I sit and hum and haw, the more ansy I get inside. And, of course the more ansy I get inside, the more Moses reflects my discontent back at me.  So, you see, it is all related.

Here I am diving in…

Orbs

Well, I couldn’t resist sharing this picture of Moses playing with Cookie.  I also noticed that there are three orbs captured in the picture. 

Orbs are thought to be angels captured in a photograph! 

(Update: Alexis noticed four to five orbs!)

Puppy Prescription

Earlier this week, I wrote about how I thought Moses may have Asperger’s Syndrome, and Alexis asked some great questions. 

Hi Janice ~ I guess my question for you is how would a diagnosis help you better understand your son? I mean, theoretically, it could answer certain questions about why he behaves in certain ways, if he really has AS, but you are already very tuned in to your child. No one understands him better than you do.

How do you think Moses would benefit from a diagnosis? Isn’t he already being respected for who he is? Aren’t you already being present with him and trusting your intuition as to what to do to best support and nurture him exactly as he is?

Scary stuff about MMR. Did you sense this about him before the shots?

Hugs,
Alexis

These are great questions that Alexis asked. Ones that I knew would be asked by some readers. I’m going to answer them in the same mindset as when I wrote that post (because actually, some of my mindset has changed since then — thankfully).

But first… Why would a diagnosis help? I thought it would help me to connect with other parents who are having similar experience with their children. And, also connect me to other resources / support groups / parenting ideas. I was feeling alone and challenged re: parenting Moses (e.g., losing patience, etc.). I felt like I had no more reserve left in me. We were trying to do what we could to replenish ourselves (we actually just came back from a week’s vacation away), but we returned more drained than when we left.

Isn’t he already being respected for who he is? Aren’t you already being present with him and trusting your intuition as to what to do to best support and nurture him exactly as he is?    I’d love to say that the answer is “yes” to both of these questions. And, of course, the problem is probably in the fact that my answer is “no” to these questions. My husband and I were really struggling. We were finding that we were at our wits ends with the  constant power struggles and tantrums every single time we change him and brush his teeth. (Alexis discusses power struggles here, so I know that we’re not alone in this one). On most mornings, it was taking all of my energy, patience and sanity just getting Moses fed, changed and teeth-brushed. I was losing confidence in my abilities as a parent.

How do I feel today? Something actually has changed in the family dynamic over the last couple of days, which I attribute to one of two things: 1) we got a puppy, and 2) I’ve started using the Emotional Freedom Technique (which, if you don’t know what it is, you can find out about how to do it yourself here).

1) We got a puppy. I consulted with yet another intuitive (another shaman) and she ”felt that a dog in the house would help the energy in our home”. My husband has always wanted a dog and about a week before the shaman mentioned this to me, we had considered adopting a dog, so it felt like everything was in alignment for us getting a puppy.

We’re thinking that Moses is enjoying having the puppy in the house, and even though I’m spending a lot of energy training the puppy and cleaning up after her, Moses is happier, which means I’m happier. The tantrums in the last 5 days have been less frequent and less dramatic. And, he has even let us brush his teeth without a fuss over the last couple of days (which had only previously happened less than a handful of times before).

2) I started using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which is a technique that I used on myself a couple of years ago and had found that it helped release emotional charges on issues, but had gotten out of the habit of using. When I was at my emotional wits’ end a few days ago, I started using this technique and since then I’ve felt more centred, at peace, grounded. After the first night of using the technique, I actually had a dream that Moses and my emotional charges were no longer “plugging into each other” because they had been diffused.

I think a lot of what was happenning was that my “emotional charge” was affected Moses’ emotions and we both were setting each other off. I knew that was happenning, but I didn’t know how to “diffuse the charge”.  That’s where EFT came into help.

Do I still think Moses has AS?

Currently, I’ve actually talked myself out of it. I mentioned it to Moses’ naturopath and she doesn’t think that he fits the AS profile.

Follow-up to MMR post

I discusssed here how we were starting down the road of partial vaccinations and Moses had his first MMR shot on September 9. Since that vaccination 7 weeks ago, Moses has not been able to sleep through the night (previously he was sleeping through the night), and has had three different bouts of high fevers, an ER visit, a strep throat diagnosis (accompanied with an antibiotics prescription), and thrush (which was the result of the antibiotics for the strep throat, and now he’s on an antifungal medication), and other various maladies.

We also noticed that he started getting a lot more prone to tantrums during the day and was a whole lot crankier and was also getting more night terrors within the first month after the MMR. And, then things progressed to the point that brought us to our wits’ end.

Ah…  it’s all coming together now.

I’m starting to put two and two together and attribute the change in behaviour (well, definitely at the very least, the difference in sleep change) to the MMR vaccination. So, I feel even more strongly to discontinuing with the rest of the vaccinations we were planning. I believe my husband is now also on board and rest is history.

Asperger’s Syndrome?

As I awoke from a dream, the words “Asperger’s Syndrome” flashed before me. The night before, I was speaking to a friend of mine (a healer / Reiki master friend of mine) about the recent difficulties that I have been having in raising my son.

The words in the dream appeared to be the answer to my unasked question.

Even without knowing much about Asperger’s Syndrome, the dream brought me comfort because it made me feel that maybe I wasn’t going crazy.

The truth is that even before Moses was born, I had suspicions that he would be autistic. But when his language skills developed normally, I put that thought to rest.

Now that I’ve started to read about Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), I’ve learned that most individuals with AS are highly verbal and highly intelligent (both of which are true for Moses).

He doesn’t show all of the characteristics of AS, so it’s not clear to me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was diagnosed with a mild form of it.

I will let you know more as it is revealed to us.

A time of growth

It feels like a time of growth for me and my family. We have hit a ceiling and are pushing through something.

I had a session with a reiki / shaman healer a couple of days ago that rocked my core.

I have been dealing for a long time with issues surrounding trauma related to my relationship with my biological dad. For the last 10 years, I have been working at clearing it. It feels as though I am always clearing it.

I felt as though I had made real progress with it in the spring. I wrote about a related healing dream here. I felt that I had put it to bed. That I was healed.

But, it’s up again. And the energy is such that it affects my sensitive son. It shows up in his behaviour, in his health, etc.

I know that it’s an incredibly healing time on the planet. Everything is up to be healed. I’m sure that I’m just accessing another layer of it. I’m amazed at how many layers there are to it.

We are still in the middle of it as I write, but I know that it’s up for healing. And for that I am thankful. I trust in the process.

Mindful Mama

Mon at Holistic Mama had a great post today about three different types of moms: the natural mama, the social mama and the mindful mama.

It was just what I needed to read today because this past week in particular, I’ve been a bit hard on myself that I wasn’t a natural mama. Homemaking doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s a struggle. But that being the case, I love my son with all of my heart and soul and yet, I have these other parts of my being that need expression for me to be completely fulfilled (like teaching yoga, moving my body, being in nature, connecting with other likeminded people, writing, meditation). Of course, many of these things things, I can do with my son, but sometimes, I also need to be in my own energy.

My husband and I very much value family time, but we also very much value our own time. We each generally give ourselves one night away as “our own time” and for me, this means teaching a yoga class, which I love to do. And during the last year, we’ve been having a date night every one to two weeks (prior to that, it was once a month, which wasn’t often enough for our liking).

This past weekend felt like a particularly difficult week because Moses was teething (those last darn molars), and so this week, it became important for me to have more “me time”. I had a haircut last night, and met at a coffee shop with a good friend of mine. Then this morning, when  Moses spent his first few hours on his own at the dayhome, I chose to go to a fusion tai chi / yoga / pilates class rather than spending that time working. I also booked an energy session for tonight (which was postponed), but just knowing that it’s coming has helped my mental / energy body! And sure enough, Moses has been feeling more himself today and the whole household has been going more smoothly.

Transitions in child care

During Moses’ first year, I was home with him full time (we’re fortunate in Canada to have a year’s maternity leave). I really wanted to stay home with him after his first year, but finances dictated that I go back to work at least parttime. After some meditation, I received the insight to work halftime from home, continuing my work as an environmental consultant from home. Thankfully, the company I worked for agreed and I was able to spend the mornings with Moses and work for four hours in the afternoon while he was watched by a loving mom of another toddler, who became Moses’ good friend. It was particularly great because the mom came to our house so that I was close by in case anything happened related to his allergies (and a couple of times, having me close at hand was important indeed).

Six months later, our childcare giver gave her notice and we found an AP parent through my Attachment Parenting group to care for Moses in our home. Moses and his little friend became best friends. It was an ideal situation.

When Moses with 2.5 years old, we moved across the country from Calgary to Newfoundland and I was fortunate to be able to continue to work halftime from home in NL, and Moses’ grandma (Grammie Millie) cared for him during the afternoons. It’s been ideal as I’ve continued to be able to hang out with Moses in the mornings and he’s been able to foster a great bond with his grammie.

But over the last month, it felt like it was time for a transition for a number of reasons:

1. We feel as though he hasn’t been getting enough socialization. I’ve been trying to get him to playgroups, but he’s not really been enjoying them very much — he would prefer to play with me at home or go to the museum than go to playgroups. I think  it’s because of his sensitive nature, the playgroups are overwhelming for him (it makes sense because they are actually overwhelming / draining for me).
2. We feel his grammie has been overworking herself and needs a break.
3. Moses’ allergies are not as prevalent and we feel safer leaving him in the care of others.

We started looking for a dayhome and found a place that feels like a great fit. The caregiver has two children (a one year old boy and a three year old boy) and will be caring for a 1.5 year old girl and Moses. So just four in all. I’m hoping that Moses and the little boy will be good friends. The little boy is high in energy, gentle and sweet and I hope that they will be a good fit together.

The caregiver’s husband is sensitive to gluten, preservatives and other environmental allergens, and so she’s used to dealing with food sensitivities, cross contamination, trained in using an epipen and the like. Furthermore, they limit their use of chemical cleaners in their home (cleaning with vinegar instead), as we do.

It feels like a match made in heaven, and an answered prayer.

We’re thinking of doing three full days and two half days, which will give me two mornings a week with Moses, but also will give me a few extra hours on the full time days for me to work a bit more (to offset the daycare costs). I feel a bit conflicted about it — I never thought that I’d come to the point where I’d want him to spend more time with a caregiver than with me, but it’s been a very frustrating couple of weeks for the two of us and it feels as though it’s time for a change. And, for me to have a bit more space so that I can have more patience when we are together.

Wish us luck.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Treating autism

I came across this website with steps on how to “treat autism”, such as:

• Restricting substances that cause problems
• Healing the gut
• Reducing toxic load
• Reconnecting broken metabolic pathways
• Rebuilding the immune system

As I mentioned before, my son isn’t autistic, but we found that these same strategies helped with his extreme sensitivity. My intuition says that it would also be helpful with children with autism, though I can’t speak from experience.

My Everyday Miracles blog

I have three blogs.  This one,  Raising a Sensitive Child, where I share my journey raising a crystal child and some of his (past) health problems. As I read through it, I realized that I’ve often write on this blog when we are struggling — I’ve used it to vent my frustrations, especially about the medical system.

I actually have another blog where I write when I’m sharing my joys.  My Everyday Miracles blog at www.creatingmiracles.wordpress.com. I haven’t shared it until now because I’ve been wanting to keep our identity anonymous — mostly for A.’s / Moses’ sake (I’m going to call him “Moses” from now on in the blog because it’s our nickname for him anyway. We like to call him Mr. Moses. We called him Mr. Moses for so long that he started to think that Moses was his last name.)

Anyway, I’ve wanted the freedom to share my thoughts about Moses being a crystal child without the people in our lives thinking that we were potentially crazy. This blog is my own personal refuge for me to share my thoughts, process, and experiences, and hopefully so that other mothers may be able to relate as well.

In any case, I’m ready to share my Everyday Miracles blog, which has a different “voice” than the voice that I share in this blog. In My Everyday Miracles blog, I focus on the joys in life, and the everyday miracles that bless our lives.

I have also started a third blog, My Path to Healing, where I share my healing journey and some divine inspiration.

Raising a crystal child in Newfoundland

I just thought I’d put it out there that I live in Newfoundland. Thus far, I’ve been trying to keep our identity anonymous, but if you are a parent in the St. John’s area and are looking to meet other parents of crystal children, please send me a message.  I would love to meet you!

We love going to the museum

My three year old’s new favourite thing to do is go to the museum. He would rather go to the museum than go to playgroup, the park, the beach, the playground. To him, the museum is the best thing in the world.

We went to the museum for the first time about a month ago. We were so impressed with it that we got a year’s membership for the family and we’ve already gotten our money’s worth as we’ve been going once or twice a week since then. It helps that the museum has some exhibits that caters to kids, like puzzles, computer interactive exhibits, stuffed animals, kids books, etc.

The real reason though that I think that A. likes the museum so much is because the vibration there is quite high. It feels so good being there. It’s a beautiful building with huge windows that overlooks the cityscape and ocean. I’m thrilled that we’ve found this treasure in our city.

Partial vaccinations

Well, we have started down the road of partial vaccinations. Some background on our thoughts on vaccinations here. My husband feels strongly about partially vaccinating (yes to pentacel and MMR) and no to the rest. I would prefer not to vaccinate, but am open to partial vaccinations.

Thimerosal (which contains mercury and has been linked to autism) is not used as a preservative in either MMR or pentacel. More info on which vaccines contain thimerosal in Canada here, and in the US here.

A.’s last vaccination was at 6 months old (he received pentacel at 2 months, 4 months and 6 months).  He’s now 3.5 years and received his first MMR vaccination yesterday. Interestingly, his system seemed more reactive the morning of the vaccination (i.e., before it was given) — almost as though his system could already sense what was to occur. But, I had a calm feeling and felt that everything was going to be alright (similar to how I felt the morning of A.’s peanut challenge).

Sure enough, everything went fine. And just like with the peanut challenge, his system seemed less enflamed after he received the vaccination.

(An odd coincidence of the morning was that the only other child in the “medical day care” waiting room was a child who was allergic to eggs who was receiving an MMR shot — and she has the same last name as my son [a very unique last  name]. We very rarely bump into any one who has the same last name as our family, so it seemed like a pretty big synchronicity).

I consulted with A.’s naturopath last week and she suggested giving him a pellet of the arnica homeopathic remedy the morning of, directly after, and the evening of the vaccination. She also suggested that spirulina post-vaccination would detox his system. I decided against using the spirulina as the last time he received spirulina, he had a pretty big detox reaction, but the arnica homeopath seems gentle enough on his system.

Next on the schedule:  October: Pentacel; and November: MMR.  And, hopefully that’s it until he’s 4.5 years.

(By the way, if you’re choosing not to vaccinate, I think that’s great. I’m not encouraging you to vaccinate or not to vaccinate. I think it’s a very personal decision. As always, I’m just sharing our story and experiences.)

Helpful crystal and indigo children articles

I came across these useful articles by Jan Yordy today about raising crystal and indigo children on the Energy Connection Therapy website:

- 10 Techniques to ground and balance your child’s energy;

- 10 suggestions for positive parenting;

- crystal characteristics; and

- indigo children characteristics.

 I am familiar with many of the grounding techniques (I’m a yoga instructor), but it occurred to me that I haven’t been using many of them with my son.  They were a great reminder for me.  I like also that they are presented in child-friendly ways. She also mentions EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which I haven’t used for a while, but is a great way to remove the charge on things that have an emotional charge. (The EFT website above has free instructions on how to do EFT on yourself and others).

Sensitive teeth

My sensitive child has sensitive teeth. I think it’s a combination of many reasons:

• both my husband and I have poor teeth (most of my molars have fillings and my husband tells me that he had teeth pulled when he was a toddler;
• he drinks way more apple juice than he really should be (we water it down — half apple juice, half water), but he would rather dehydrate than drink water (we model drinking water all of the time as it’s the only thing that I drink, but to no avail);
• he had quite a lot of antibiotics when he was young as a result of numerous health issues (one of his doctor’s mentioned to me that antibiotics can interfere with the healthy development of tooth enamel);
• he’s on a daily iron supplement due to low iron, which stains his teeth;
• he has very sore gums and mouth and is very susceptible to mouth sores; and
• as a result, fights us in brushing his teeth.

A month ago, he had to have dental work done (yes, another day surgery*), and he had 11 cavities to fill plus a root canal.  Yikes! 

On the good side of things, happily, his day surgery went without a problem. On the challenging side of things, he developed a fever a few days later and teeth brushing has continued to be a problem. We brought him back to the dentist last week and we found out that he has a very bad case of cold sores. Poor little guy.

In the meantime, my husband and I have found a good way to get to brush his teeth. After we let A. have a try, one of us begins to brush his teeth. When he bites down on the toothbrush (which inevitably happens), we get into A.’s mouth with a second toothbrush, which allows us to brush the front of his gums and teeth, which are generally the most sore for him and he doesn’t let us brush them. Today, A. actually let my husband brush his teeth completely (one of the first times ever), without us needing to go in with a second brush.

Anyway, I’m just sharing our story in case any of you have sensitive ones with sensitive teeth.  I’d love to hear if you have any tips / good news stories for me.

* My vision is that this will be our last day surgery for a very long time. Similar to how I was able to post here about how it had been over a year (and counting) since our last ER, I’d like to be able to say next year that we haven’t had any day surgeries at all.

Eye health

Well, if you are a regular reader, you know that we have had some recent remarkable breakthroughs in my son’s health (he can now eat peanuts!).

I thought I’d also give you an update on other things that have been going on for him. In May, my sensitive guy developed a huge cyst under his eye (so huge that it was starting to obstruct his vision and required a day surgery to drain), which thankfully has completely healed.  The day before his surgery, I prayed that everything that needed to be drained from his body empty into the cyst so that it could be removed from his system.

As an aside, between the ages of 0 and 2, our son developed approx. 8 large cysts on his scalp which also needed to be drained, and another cyst in his neck area that needed to be surgically drained when he was 2. I think that creating cysts was one way that his body dealt with removing toxins from his system.

A blessing of the most recent cyst was that A. got his eyes tested and we found out that he is very far-sighted.  We had no idea and it was probably something that we would otherwise have not found out about until after he’d started school, so the blessing is that we found out so early.  He wears glasses now and after about a month’s adjustment period, he now wears them without a problem. He looks so cute in them — like a little Harry Potter.

No more follow ups with the dermatologist

We have no more follow ups with the dermatologist scheduled.  Not because A.’s skin has cleared up, but because we haven’t been following his advice (i.e., to use protopic, which has a “possible cancer risk”).  The dermatologist assured me that the medication is completely safe to use, but we still don’t feel comfortable putting anything on our son’s skin that may be a potential cancer risk.

We’ve continued to use the 1% hydrocortisone ointment sparingly on A.’s skin when it’s particularly flared up, and generally only do it for 2 weeks at a time and then give his skin a break, but moisturizing a lot of Glaxalbase.  (It took us a lot even to start using hydrocortisone on A.’s skin — we essentially didn’t use it for the first 18 months of his life despite his extreme eczema — hoping that we would find a “natural” way to deal with it.  As I mentioned here, we tried many things).

When we have follow up visits with specialists, I often feel as though I am doing something wrong (by not following their prescriptions), but then I ask my Self whether it’s in my son’s highest good for me to be using the medications, and I get a “no”.  So, I guess that’s the truth I’ll stick by.  And, I guess it’s also cause for celebration that we have one less doctor to visit.  As I mentioned here, we have a lot of doctors following our son as it is.

Special wishes

A. started his own bedtime ritual — “making special wishes”. He asks us what our special wish is, and he responds with his special wish.

I have to admit that often my husband and I aren’t very imaginative with our special wishes. (We normally wish that A. will have a great sleep and wonderful dreams).  A.’s wishes range from being a crow to staying up later to playing with his cars. Tonight’s was to tickle his daddy.

His grandma has been visiting for the last week.  They shared special wishes one night and A.’s special wish was for “Grammie Rosie to stay”.  She certainly will be missed by us all.

A. can officially eat peanuts!!!!!

Yesterday was the peanut challenge and A. passed it with flying colours.

We were very close to cancelling again (he’d been feverish within 48 hours and his eczema seemed flared), but I “checked” in and got the message to do it, and we did and it was a complete non-issue.

In case you don’t know what’s involved with a peanut challenge: the person is fed 5 doses of peanuts, with 15-20 minutes between doses. The first time, the patient is asked to simply hold the peanut and then rub it on their lips.

• 0.5 g (1/2 a peanut)
• 1 g (1 peanut)
• 2 g (2 peanuts)
• 4 g (4 peanuts)
• 8 g (8 peantus)

So that’s 15.5 peanuts in a three hour period.

My husband was extremely nervous and anxious, but I was reassured by the message I got before the test that it would all be alright. And, I told myself that it was in as safe a place for anything wrong to happen, and if anything wrong did occur, at least we would definitely know that all of the precautions around peanuts were justified.

It also helped that my mom was visiting and present for the challenge. She helped to keep A. happy during the three hours, playing with him, and keeping my husband and I calm as well.

The peanuts didn’t even affect A.’s eczema or anything. The weird thing is that his skin actually looked better today than it did before the peanut challenge.

It’s a complete relief, and feels like a complete miracle. To put this in perspective, this was the boy who was reactive to everything (including things like rice). We are very thankful. Extremely thankful. Overjoyed. In awe and disbelief.

It completely changes our whole perspective and paradigm and I feel like A. will eventually outgrow his sensitivities to most things.

As I mentioned here, we’re slowly starting to introduce other foods at home, but it’s been a very slow process because his skin has still been pretty reactive. I think since June, we’ve reintroduced: rice (but not rice milk yet), broccoli and raspberries. 

As I mentioned before, A. has had three anaphylatic reactions in the past.  One was to stevia (a natural sweetener), and the other two times, it wasn’t obvious to what he reacted to. The more I think about it, I think one time was to him chewing on a bookmark (he literally ate half a bookmark), and the other time was to hand sanitizer (we put it on his hands, and he likely had his hands in his mouth sometime after that). So, I think that the reactions were probably to chemical and not foods, per say.  This makes us feel a lot safer introducing new foods, and that the anaphylatic reactions were likely just weird “flukes”.

Now that the peanut challenge is over, we’re encouraged to feed him peanuts once a week, and not over do it.  We bought some organic peanut butter and my husband enjoyed his first peanut butter and banana sandwich in years. Sometime over the weekend, we’ll give A. a bit of peanut butter on his glutenfree, eggfree, milkfree bread and see how he does!

Advice about raising crystal children

I read this sage advice about raising crystal children in an article about crystal energy and crystal children by Dorit Lev:

As a parent, always be proud of your child, love him unconditionally, without connection to the level of his or her soul and its origin, whether you know it or not. The recommendations for raising Crystal children are valid for all children: love, warmth, sensitivity, steady and organized daily schedules and attention to the child’s reaction to surrounding people and events while being highly supportive of them. It’s difficult to exaggerate the importance of this so please be mindful of your responsibility.

I would definitely agree.