Nourishing Body, Mind and Spirit

Letting it go…

I recently stopped offering energy healing sessions given that the karmic healer saw that it was Moses who was essentially healing all of my clients. I sat in emptiness for one whole day, and then decided to start teaching yoga. The healer advised me not to touch anyone in my class (since my energy field is open and to avoid taking on energy that is not mine), which truthfully is very difficult for me as one of my favourite things about teaching yoga is healing via touch….

The night after I taught my first yoga class, I had a dream that warned me that I had “picked up” energy that was not mine in the class.

The night after I taught my second yoga class, I had another dream that warned me that I had picked up energy that was not mine. The next morning, Moses woke up screaming in pain with a terribly painful, heart-wrenching gastro-intestinal infection.

The night after I taught my third class, I had another dream that involved Moses being in the hospital and me teaching a yoga class. The next morning, Moses woke up screaming in pain with a stomach ache (the pain thankfully passed quickly after I rubbed DigestZen essential oil on his belly), but he was running a fever and essentially had the flu. So far, he’s missed two days of school and we had one trip to the hospital because his fever was so high that he was delirious and panicked, and he was having difficulty breathing and we are always concerned about him developing pneumonia. Four days later, he is no longer running a fever, but he has a bad cough and has no voice. He’s also sad because he had no play dates this weekend and is also missing so much school, which is making school that much more difficult for him.

And sadly, DH decided to restart Moses prophylactic antibiotic. The one that I was thrilled that he was given permission to stop last week.

Oh. My. Goodness.

What a vicious cycle this seems to be. I’m not quite sure what is happening, but given the warning dreams and the pattern of Moses getting sick after I teach yoga and also the warnings from the karmic healer, I have decided to stop teaching yoga. As I’m sure that you can appreciate, this is not an easy decision for me as I love to teach / heal, but I also can’t bear to continue this cycle. I have been getting a huge message to stop all forms of healing. Just stop.

So….  a friend of mine will be subbing my remaining three classes and then I will release the class. And I will give myself a long break and see what happens and how Moses responds. I’ll continue to practice yoga at home and take yoga classes. I’ll continue to attend my monthly meditation group. I’ll continue to practice working on the tools in Racquel’s “miracle seminars” cd, practice grounding extraneous energies down my grounding cord and other techniques. And then I’ll just focus on activities that feed me and my soul and my family. Like spending time with friends and family and nature.

After spending time grieving the loss of the class and the loss of my identity as a practicing “healer / yoga teacher”, I currently feel at peace with the decision.

Update:

A sweet message and reminder from a dear friend after I shared my news:

“I love you Janice – no matter what you do or don’t do.  You are still a healer – your writings, your integrity – they are all leaving ripple effects in the world. May you find other beneficial outlets for the expression of who you are.  You’re a gift no matter what you do. Please remember that.”

So be it and it is so and so it is!

 

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Comments on: "Letting it go…" (4)

  1. This is very interesting. I took my 200-hour training during the Fall of 2011 and began teaching in the spring of 2012. I taught yoga for a year and a half, during which time my body grew sicker and sicker. At some point, my energy became so low that I got a new certification to teach Yin Yoga and Yin was about the only type of yoga that I could practice at that time as well. During the Yin training, another teacher, who is also a chiropractor and asian medicine practitioner, pulled me aside and told me she thought i was in adrenal fatigue (she had never met me before the weekend). After the training, I kept teaching but instinctively new that I had to stop touching the yogis in my classes, including adjustments. 6-7 months later, however, my body completely collapsed in a way I’ve never experienced before. I could no longer even get out of bed. I had really no choice but to resign my teaching positions. I taught my last class in July and since then, have been slowly slowly working with a variety of guides (my acupuncturist, an energy healer, a practitioner of asian medicine who also uses essential oils, and now an MD who practices integrative medicine and actually believes my symptoms are real). I have officially been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue but suspect that it is the tip of the iceberg. On my way back to some sort of health, I have good days and bad; more better days than bad now. But whenever I think about returning to teaching yoga, which I loved, the hair on my arms stands on end and I suffer from extreme aversion. My inner guidance system is essentially telling me “no way.” While teaching, I did notice that I would leave every class completely drained and exhausted. I thought it was because I was an introvert. Your posting is giving me pause to think about this and a lot of other things–wondering if I have to close my heart just to protect myself in this world.

  2. spirityoga said:

    Hello hmfhp: Thanks for sharing your reflections and your own experience as a yoga teacher, especially in light of what I shared. It helps me to hear about your experiences (it helps me to make sense of what’s going on for us and also encourages me to continue to share our experiences). It helps to know that perhaps we’re not the only sensitive ones…

    I would definitely listen to your inner guidance. Sounds like you have a great team behind you. Perhaps you’ll want to add a “karmic healer” to your team as well. http://www.eventbrite.com/o/racquel-moore-1960730707

  3. Hi, I just discovered your blog. I also have a sensitive child, who is on the autism spectrum, and can relate to many of the topics discussed here.

    Though most of my personal experience with my son so far involves the physical aspects (biomedical treatments, diet, nutrition, etc…), I recently discovered the work of Suzy Miller, which opened a whole new area of exploration for me, that is, the spiritual and energetic aspects of children with autism. From what I understand, they are part of a group of spiritual beings of very high energy frequency, who are helping to lift energies on Earth at this time, but who experience difficulties with integrating their energy into their physical bodies, resulting in extreme sensitivity to many things in the environment, allergies, immune problems, etc… This connected a lot of dots for me so I thought I would share.

    Here’s her book and a video interview:

    AWESOMISM!
    http://www.amazon.com/AWESOMISM-Suzy-Miller-ebook/dp/B007OR6KHO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1393882629&sr=8-2&keywords=suzy+miller

    Also, for parents who are sensitive to other people’s energies, like I just discovered I might be, I just discovered Dave Markowitz. I just finished his book, and I liked it. He gives some good tips on how to avoid picking up other people’s energies.

    Here’s the book I just read as well as a video interview:

    Self-Care for the Self-Aware: A Guide for Highly Sensitive People, Empaths, Intuitives, and Healers

    Please note that I don’t have any personal experience with either Suzy or Dave, I just read their books and liked them and felt like sharing.

    I am looking forward to reading more of your blog!

  4. Hi Karin: Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and for sharing these resources. It feels like I’ve been exposed to Suzy’s work although I haven’t delved deeply into it. Thanks for sharing – I will definitely look into them both. Many blessings on you and your son’s healing journey.

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