Now that Moses is doing so well, more of my energy is being directed to my own healing. Not that I completely neglected myself during these last five years, but it feels like the theme right now for me is really about my own self care.
It’s mama’s time now.
- Went to a yoga class;
- Saw my Heilkunstler;
- Attended a Shaman’s Way of Seeing Workshop;
- Asked a dear friend / massage therapist / energy healer to help me through a funk;
- Was vulnerable;
- Went out for sushi with a friend;
- Went shopping for myself;
- Brand new haircut (DH’s gift for me today);
- Ran on the treadmill a couple of times (!);
- Bought new running shoes;
- Breathe work;
- Talked to my mama;
- Talked to my dearest friends;
- Slept for four hours in the middle of the day;
- Stayed in rather than going out;
- Said “no” to a couple of invitations;
- Changed my mind;
- Have a massage booked;
- Have a chiropractor appointment booked;
- Getting together with dear friends in ceremony;
- Have an acupuncturist appointment booked;
- Planning on booking a facial soon. Maybe next weekend!
This all relates well to Organic Sister’s recent post about the importance of mom and dad’s self care.
Nonetheless, I’ve been feeling depressed and sick. I have the flu today. Runny nose. Headachy. Sore throat. Feverish. Canker sore. My rashes are itchy and sore. Sad.
It probably feels like I’m always talking about healing reactions, but I think that’s what’s going on. I’m still physically healing from the LEEP procedure that I had 11 days ago. In addition, I’ve been clearing it energetically with Heilkunst homeopathy (started the powders 8 days ago) which means that I’m probably in the middle of a healing reaction.
It feels as though big things are up for me to be cleared and healed. It’s really my turn. Mama’s turn.
Last week during our Heilkunst appointment, I was able to happily report that Moses has been doing so great. Yay. What a relief. What amazing news. Miraculous.
Then when it was time to talk about me, I related that I was sad. I cried. I’m tired. I feel ugly. My rashes are itchy now.
My Heilkunstler mentioned that my rash and also my inner state was related to the ideogenic disease state. The deepest disease state. What Hahnemann refers to as the “highest disease”. It’s the disease state that’s related to wrong thought and beliefs (core delusions). She mentioned that all of the healing work that we do by healing our timeline and then the chronic miasms helps to prepare us for healing the ideogenic disease state. Like preparing for a marathon. In my case, she said that Hura (the homeopathic remedy for leprocy) was showing up. Hence my itchy and ugly rashes that won’t go away. Feeling ugly. Feeling unloved. Feeling like not belonging. Deep depression and sadness.
Remember that this is related to a core delusion. Of course, I know on some level that I am loved. I do belong.
And when I am quiet and consciously connect with Spirit, I can hear the voice of God telling me the truth. That I am loved beyond belief.
I am loved.
I do belong.
I am lovable.
I am safe.
And it is so, and so it is.
I know and trust that this is yet another wave of healing that I am going through. It is a time of rest and healing for me after so many years of so much work. It’s mama’s turn.
p.s. My current mind state also makes sense because on June 6th (according to Carl Calleman), we entered into the third night period (a period of 17 days) of the 9th wave of the Mayan calendar. Generally nights are darker and more challenging periods than days.
From this website:
The Third Day is another period of Light. The seed’s root system develops and the second set of leaves will be a permanent part of the plant. It is the establishment of the new consciousness as viable. In human history lies or failed systems are disclosed so that progress is not blocked.
The Third Night is another period of Dark. The seedling set of leaves are dropped from the plant as another set of leaves spring from the top. These are at 90 degrees from the last set. In human history failed systems have been jettisoned, usually by force, during this section.