This is a summary of my Heilkunst (sequential homeopathy) update from mid-October to late November (6 weeks). Read more about our Heilkunst journey here.
I started the following droppers on October 18, 2016:
1) Vern. 30C – (Physical – Digestion/Neck and shoulder pain/Itchiness/TMJ/Plantar’s warts/Hay fever/Allergies) – a drop a day
2) Puls. 200C – (Emotions – Anxiety/Stress concerning Moses, new job and transition to new life in Calgary) – a drop a day
3) Pilo 1M – (Mentals – Socialization/Self-confidence/Self-esteem) – a drop a day
4) Peri-menopausal – Eryng. m. 30C – a drop a day or as needed
5) Anxiety re transition to new job and new home – Stan. 30C – a drop a day
New Timeline Wafers:
A – Gall. ac. 12C/30C/200C/1M/10M – memory of Moses being in NICU at birth and working at the same hospital now.
B – Physo. 12C/30C/200C/1M/10M/50M – Abuse pre-age 5
After starting my droppers, I noticed that I was itchy and was scratching at night. Especially my stomach area. A week later, I was feeling annoyed, ungrounded and itchy. Likely a healing reaction to my timeline wafer clearing that I finished right before I started these new powders (i.e., clearing ending a significant relationship with a spiritual teacher).
Moses and I spent the day at the Children’s hospital, meeting his new immunologist and getting blood work on Oct 27th. It took me days to get over this day. I dropped into a dark funk, and I grieved another layer of emotions related to having a son with a combined primary immunodeficiency. Moses had been abscess-free for so long (since Feb), and now he had tons of abscesses (~7 in three places). My poor boy. What was going on? I felt grief and guilt-stricken too because Moses has an undeniable pattern of developing abscesses after I spend time with spiritual people. This will sound woo-woo to most, but I’ve been the pattern too many times over too many years not to see the pattern. And, I was heart-broken because I think it means that I will need to take space from some friends who I love. I was also grief-stricken because his immunologist strongly recommended that Moses receive monthly IVIG infusions, which means spending a day at the hospital once a month to receive a blood product made up of immunoglobins donated from thousands of people. His immunologist in our last city had recommended it too, but didn’t strongly push it and our family wasn’t ready to go this route. To me, the feels like admitting defeat – that my son needs such an extraordinary intervention to be well. Also, it’s signing up for a monthly appointment at the hospital, when my son needs to be hooked up to an IV. And, it’s managing yet another appointment, while DH and I are both trying to manage fulltime jobs and responsibilities. It feels like a whole lot. And yet and yet and yet…. my gut has been telling me “say yes to the IVIG. It will help”. And so, we are saying yes. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t grieve.
We are also three weeks to moving again. We purchased a sweet home in a nearby community. I hate that we need to pack, un-root and transition again after so many transitions in the last couple of months. And also trying to keep life as stable as possible for Moses. I’m going through a hard time right now. I’m not sure if it’s worst because of what I’m clearing homeopathically. It’s hard for me to tease out what’s what.
Clearing trauma of Moses being in NICU at birth
On November 1st, I started my timeline wafers (Gall) to clear the trauma of Moses’s birth. Again. I’ve cleared the trauma associated with Moses’ birth in the past (and Moses has cleared his own birth – the physical effects and emotional effects), but I knew that it needed to be recleared for me because I’m now actually working at the very same hospital where Moses spent the first 6 days of his life at NICU. He was born at one hospital, had difficulty breathing when he was born and he was whisked away from my belly moments after his birth so that he could be intubated. Because the hospital that he was born in didn’t have a Level 3 NICU, he was transported in an ambulance to another hospital within hours of his birth. He was such a trooper that he ripped out the tubes that were inserted into his lungs during his ambulance ride. I was later transported in an ambulance to the same hospital that Moses was. I remember waking up with a night terror, the night of Moses’ birth. I woke up screaming and trying to get out of my hospital room, the nurse trying to calm me down. My first hours as a mother wasn’t supposed to be that way. I still hadn’t met or held my son. I didn’t see him or get to hold him until the next morning, 12 hours after he was born.
I knew that I needed to reclear this timeline event because on the day before my interview for my new job, when I looked at the map of the hospital where I was going to be interviewed, I burst into tears because it retriggered the memories of Moses’ difficult first days. And now, every morning when I drive to work, I am reminded about Moses’ birth. Every single morning.
It’s kind of ironic that my life’s journey has lead me to working at a hospital. I’m actually working for the university as a research coordinator, but my office is at the hospital. The project that I’m working on is about less medical interventions at birth, so it’s a project that I am passionate about. I feel that it’s quite amazing that I have this current role (divine intervention?) given that it’s a completely different line of work than what I have done in the past, since I’m a wildlife biologist by training. I’m actually loving my new job – I’m using my skills (i.e., project coordination, writing, research) on a project that I’m passionate about. I also love my colleagues. So, I feel that this clearing will be important and so very helpful in me being able to more present with my current job and will allow me to make peace with the past, which will help with my healing journey as well as Moses’.
My healing reaction was an increase in rashes on my belly. My belly was a mess of bloody scabs during this time. Symbolic? hmmmm…
It’s now a few weeks later and I am no longer reminded about Moses’ birth every time I drive to my work. Thank goodness!
Clearing childhood trauma
We moved to a new home on Nov 19th, Moses had his first IVIG infusion on Nov 23rd and I started my new timeline wafers (Physo. 12C/30C/200C/1M/10M/50M) on Nov 24th. I had delayed started the new wafers by four days, but perhaps I should have delayed even more because they hit me like a ton of bricks. These wafers were related to clearing a childhood trauma that occurred when I was less than 5 years old. I felt like I was travelling through dark energetic muck during this time and everything felt that much harder. I also had an intense headache and my neck and shoulder pains were much more intense than they normally are. I’m still in the middle of it right now as I just took the 10M wafer today. I’ll be taking my last wafer (50M) tomorrow, on the day of my next appt with my Heilkunstler. It’ll take at least a couple more weeks before this works through my system. Suffice it to say that it feels intense, and it’s been an intense time for the family with all of the changes that we’ve gone through in the last three months (moved across the country, started a new job in a new field, moved homes again, and of course, holding space for everything that Moses is going through physically and emotionally).
Overall, I’m actually coping extremely well and doing so well. I think everything that I’ve been doing to support myself has been helping (e.g., homeopathy, karmic healing, essential oils, daily walks in nature, listening to meditations, trying to stay grounded, listening to my intuition, saying no to some things that don’t feel right, saying yes to things that feel right, not over-scheduling). I also really feel that the Thrive supplements that I’ve been taking have been helping to give me more energy and mental clarity. I feel that they’ve been a complete game-changer actually.
It also helps that I absolutely love, love, love my new job and the people that I’m working with. And, I love, love, love the city that we are living in and the nearby mountains and our new home. I love everything about our new lives. I’m so happy and relieved that we had the courage to take the leap of faith and everything has worked out. Big sigh out of relief. And, DH is also so happy living here. It just feels like sunshine in our lives and in our home.
My biggest concern at the moment is to get Moses off of the “abscess train” that we are on. I’m hoping that the IVIG infusions will help. May it be so. Nonetheless, I’m thankful that Moses is doing as well as he is doing. He is otherwise healthy and well. And for that, I am thankful.