This is a summary of my Heilkunst (sequential homeopathy) update from late November to mid January (6 weeks). Read more about our Heilkunst journey here.
I started the following droppers on November 30, 2016:
1) Guaco 30C – (Physical – Digestion/Itchiness/Neck and shoulder pain/TMJ/Sleep/Peri-menopausal) – a drop a day
2) Cupr. 200C – (Emotions – Stress/Anxiety) – a drop a day
3) Aur. mur. kal. 1M – (Mentals – Self-confidence/Adjustment to new home and job) – a drop a day
4) Peri-menopausal symptoms – Mich. 30C – as needed
5) Sleep – Galega 12C – a drop at bedtime each night plus a drop in a glass of water on my nightstand to sip if I wake up.
6) Acute – Anxiety re: move to a new house and new job – Vespa 200C – as needed
New Timeline Wafers:
A – Phas. 12C/30C/200C/1M/10M – Start two weeks after finishing last set of wafers, taking over five consecutive nights, 1-5. (Children’s Hospital when Moses was an infant / toddler)
Then wait two weeks before starting “B”.
B – Sol. mam. 12C/30C/200C/1M/10M – Friend’s death – July 2006
The same day that I started my new droppers was the day that I took my last wafer for my most recent timeline clearing, which was related to a childhood trauma that occurred when I was less than 5 years old. It was a major event in my life and was difficult for me to clear. I experienced intense head and neck pain, so much internal pressure in my head and neck. Life felt that much more difficult. And it didn’t help that I had a very busy work day (fun, but busy), and Moses had two abscesses drained under general anaesthesia the very next day. I described the whole ordeal in this blog post. The experience was awful for Moses and was awful for me. I think it was all the more difficult for me because I was clearing a terrible childhood trauma, and I wasn’t feeling my strongest emotionally. And, it was hard for me to deal with Moses screaming at me for an hour while he was in a morphine-induced hallucination, terrified that he wasn’t going to be able to come out of it. And the next morning, he cried and screamed for three hours, terrified at the thoughts of removing a wick from one of his abscesses. Goodness. I was at my wits’ end. I completely lost it. Really. Swearing and kicking walls. I completely lost it.
I was going to give myself more than the 2 weeks between clearings because this last clearing was such a big one for me, but because of all of the hospital visits and medical consultations we were having, it felt like it was time for me to clear the next timeline event.
Clearing time at Children’s hospital when Moses was an infant
On Dec 14, I started my next timeline wafers (Phas), to clear all of the time spent at the Children’s hospital when Moses was an infant. Now that we are living in the city where Moses was born after 8 years of being away, I’ve been finding that I’m being re-triggered when we visit the children’s hospital. I have so many awful memories of time spent visiting various medical professionals. Moses was 2.5 years old when we first moved away from his birth city. Moses wasn’t diagnosed with hyper IgE syndrome until he was 4.5 years old, so no one had any answers for why Moses was so sick during his first few years of life. He was covered with rashes from his head to his ankles. (I remember one cranialsacral specialist who would kindly say, “Look at his beautiful feet,” because I think she was looking for something positive to say and it was the only part of his body not covered in rashes). As I mentioned in a recent post, Moses had a traumatic birth and spent his first 6 days in the hospital. And when we got him home, he was colicky (allergic to my breast milk because I didn’t know that I was eating so many foods that he was allergic to) and covered in rashes by the time he was 14 days old. He was less than a year when he started developing abscesses and he was already getting them drained under general anaesthesia and also local anaesthesia. He also had 3 anaphylactic reactions before the time he was 2.5 years old. There were so many trips to the ER that we were known by triage nurses as “the family with the child with so many allergies”. In addition, he was admitted to the hospital on at least 3 different occasions (drainage of an abscess along his jaw, pneumonia and gastro-intestinal bleeding).
We’ve now returned to Moses’ birth city after living in NL for 8 years and it’s a bit sobering that although Moses has made amazing progress in his health, we are still firmly entrenched in the medical system and are still making weekly visits to the Children’s hospital. We’ve been back for 3 months and he’s already had 2 ER visits, drainage of 5 abscesses under local and general anaesthesia, two 5-day courses of higher potency antibiotics and consultations with an immunologist; infectious disease specialist; dermatologist; ear, nose and throat specialist; and multiple surgeons. And he started monthly IVIG treatment. Goodness! WTF.
I knew that I needed to clear all of the time spent spent at the Children’s hospital when Moses was an infant because every time that I drive into the hospital parkade, I get flashbacks of carrying Moses in his infant car seat and pushing him in his stroller into his appointments, and it hurts my heart as 1) I remember all of those awful times of stress and not understanding why Moses was so sick and feeling a tremendous amount of guilt for not being a good enough mom to keep my son well, and 2) I experience more heartache that despite the fact that we have done so much to facilitate Moses’ healing and even though he is doing phenomenal given his diagnosis, he is still considered sick by the medical system and is still enduring medical traumas. When we left our home in NL, Moses had been doing so well. I had naively thought that maybe hospital visits were a time of the past. Little did I know that moving would be so traumatic for Moses and that his body would have such a hard time with the move, mentally, emotionally and physically.
Since Moses’ system isn’t strong enough to clear any timeline events at the moment, any clearing that I do will help both me and him since we are so interconnected. I am still optimistic that now that we are done all of our moving (we had 2 moves within 2.5 months) and once Moses adjusts to his new school in January, his system will once again come back to equilibrium. As I write these words, Moses is home sick with me with a cough. I pray that his system comes back to equilibrium. Of course, I know that it will, but there’s still a part of me that worries when he has a cough that it will spiral into pneumonia. That’s always the fear lurking in the background. Thankfully, he’s been pneumonia-free for a year and a half now, but still that fear is always there.
Thankfully, Moses didn’t develop pneumonia and he was well enough for us to attend a Christmas party in the mountains, which was so much fun for all of us. We had an overnight trip to the mountains. Just what we needed. Some fun, good company, reconnections with old friends/colleagues and joy.
We drove home from the mountains today, on Dec 17th. I took my fourth timeline wafer (Phas 1M) today. I have one more to take tomorrow. Not surprisingly, it feels like another doozy of a clearing. I’m feeling overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. Headachey. Empty. Hungry, but don’t feel like eating anything. I forgot to eat lunch today, which explains why I was so ravenous by supper time. I’m feeling sad. Normally, I feel optimistic about things and energized by life, but right now, I’m just feeling sad. I’m thankful that DH and Moses are out and I have some quiet time to process my emotions. We have been through a lot over the last year. It has been a helluva year. So great in so many ways. I’m thankful that we are rooting in his home that we love. I’m thankful that we’ve returned to a city that we love. I’m thankful for a job that feeds my soul. So very thankful. I’m thankful that overall, Moses is well, especially given his diagnosis.
And yet and yet and yet… Today, I feel beat up. Tired. I’m sad that Moses has yet another huge abscess under his right armpit, after having 5 drained by surgeons in the last 2 months. His last general anaesthesia was only 15 days ago. Goodness. Really?! We are tired of this. WTF. Seriously?! We need to get off of this rollercoaster ride. We need for life to be stable for us. What to do, what to do, what to do?
Moses has his second IVIG appt in a few days. We’re hoping that the IVIG will help. We’ve recently stopped Moses’ prophylactic antibiotic because it’s not effective against Moses’ infection. Did you know that between March 2014 to Dec 2016, Moses has had 142 abscesses? It’s ridiculous! I’m feeling powerless and hopeless today. I know that my current state of mind will pass, and I’m feeling like I am because of the timeline event that I’m clearing. Goodness, it feels like a doozy.
Praying that Moses’ body can somehow get off of this abscess train. May it be so. Hopefully the combination of karmic healing, homeopathy, CoRe treatments and IVIG can help. May it be so.
It’s now 3 days later (Dec 20th) and I’m not feeling as sad. Now, I’m just feeling headachey and stiff, even though I’ve actually started practicing yoga again. Nonetheless, things are feeling extra hard and I’m not feeling at the top of my game. I’m still productive at work, but at home, I’m feeling sluggish. My energy levels probably make sense as we are approaching the solstice, which is a time of darkness, stillness and quiet. I am feeling quite internal.
It’s now January 5th and my next Heilkunst appt is tomorrow. In the last 16 days, Moses had had his second IVIG infusion (a bad experience), vomited twice, had an intense headache, developed a double ear infection, a viral chest infection, developed 6 abscesses and had 3 abscesses drained under general anaesthesia at midnight and we were kept at the hospital until 3 am (incredibly, he fasted for 18 hours from 8:30 am until 2 am), and he also started at a new school. You can read all about those adventures here. So it was a hard couple of weeks. To be fair, we also had some good times, like Christmas dinner and New Year’s eve with some friends, but mostly it was difficult and I worried a lot. I also needed to help keep Moses’ spirits up because he, understandably, was going through a difficult time emotionally.
Thankfully, Moses’ first couple of days at school have gone really well and it feels like Moses’s physical and emotional health is on the up and up.
I took a week and a half off of work over the Christmas holidays and have been back at work for three days now. It feels like we are getting back into our regular school / work rhythm. Moses and DH are playing hockey at our neighbourhood hockey rink as I type these words. I’m still loving, loving, loving my new job. So happy to have a job that feeds my soul and makes use of my skills on a project that my heart is passionate about. I hope and pray that Moses’ health comes back to equilibrium because my new job will require more of my time and energy in the new year, including travelling to different sites within the city and outside of the city (but within the province), some early mornings and also some evenings. I’m praying that it will all work out. May it be so.
Clearing a friend’s death
Oh, I almost forgot that on Jan 2nd, I started my next timeline clearing to clear the trauma and shock of a friend’s sudden death in July 2006, which occurred a couple of blocks away from my house, and the evening of a D&C surgery that I had 6 weeks after Moses was born. I remember coming home the next morning after my surgery and police had barricaded the street behind my house. I found out later that the barricade was related to my friend’s death. I went into a deep shock when I found out. I called her house to ask for our spare set of keys because she had recently house sat for us, and her sister told me that she was sorry but my friend had died. I remember that I was holding Moses at the time and I had to put him down in his crib so that I could scream and cry my eyes out.
I’m still in the middle of clearing this event and am still taking the wafers. I’m taking the last of my last of five wafers related to this clearing tomorrow morning, which is when I have my next Heilkunst session. I had a bad headache on the days that I took my first two wafers, and have been eating for comfort a lot lately.